Self-help gurus are often extolling the direct, tangible benefits gratitude can have on us personally, on our families and even on our careers. Even something simple like regularly keeping a gratitude journal can improve the quality of our sleep and increase our overall happiness!
As a busy woman, I find it hard to stay in a state of gratitude despite understanding the many benefits to myself and my life—and for having a lot to be grateful for! It is far too easy though to let all the many little #firstworldproblems like traffic jams, family stress and the constant pressure to “have it all” diminish my capacity for gratitude and thankfulness.
Besides, gratitude has always seemed like too much of a passive concept — I’m an active, extroverted person, I need to DO something!
So, I’ve turned to appreciation.
Appreciation is dynamic, outward reaching and more proactive. Gratitude can seem very internal, whereas appreciation is how you demonstrate, show and tell the world that you are thankful for everyone’s contribution to your state of gratitude. Some psychologists like Dr. Robert Emmons define the concept of as gratitude in stages. First you affirm and recognize that your life is good internally, then in the second stage, you start to exercise external gratitude for those that brought goodness to our lives or made sacrifices, so we could be happy.
To focus on that second stage of gratitude, here are five suggestions for acts of appreciation you can use in your own life:
- Write a letter, a real letter to someone who impacted you in a positive way.
- Pay it forward—literally. Buy the person in line behind you a tank of gas, a cup of a coffee, or a happy meal.
- Give a stranger a true compliment. You know you’ve seen a cute pair of shoes walk past you – actually tell that woman you like her shoes!
- Tell a public servant you appreciate them being there. From bus drivers to police officers so many people keep us safe on a regular basis and often hear nothing but complaints.
- Tell your employees you value their contribution. I just conducted a communications audit for a large, multinational corporation and the number one-way people wanted to receive recognition was verbal. It beat out cash bonuses by almost double!
Focusing internally on gratitude has always felt too selfish for me but seeing someone light up when you really recognize and appreciate them always feels good and spreads that feeling of thankfulness.
A friend of mine keeps her acts of appreciation simple and replaces saying “thank you” with the words “I appreciate you”—and she means it!
Try appreciation and see if it helps you stay in a state of gratitude. I appreciate you trying!
Colleen Jolly is an international entrepreneur. She has won numerous business, writing, dance, and design awards. She passionately believes that everyone can achieve their dreams.